Emo Star Discovered

A new type of star was recently discovered– a Y Class Brown Dwarf. Initially scientists thought that the star was “very, very cool. In fact, surprisingly cool,” according to NASA’s Kurt Steinlicher. “However,” Steinlicher said, “on closer examination, we realized that the star wasn’t as cool as it appeared. After we talked to it, we figured out it was just Emo.”

The Brown Dwarf’s MySpace profile indicated a residence place of “gasping for air in the loneliness,” which may be a term these wacky kids are using these days to describe the cold vacuum of space between megaplanets and puny stars. The term formerly known for this space before scientific advancements was “middle school.”

Emo Star: Hates parents, writes bad poetry

The Emo Star, a whiny loner clad in dark, ill-fitting black helium, likes to puff away on hydrogen fusion cigarettes while writing poetry posted on a blog titled “blacknesse withinne.” The latest entry reads:

When asked if a published book of poetry or solo album was in the works, the star replied, “all you cheerleader barbie dolls can just go back to your disneyland world of illusions. i’m not publishing like all the other conformists so i can sell out like rage against the machine.”