Optimus ‘08

A lot of candidates have been talking about change this year. It’s empty rhetoric. Change. What does that even mean? Without clear plans laid, how can we be sure that change will be any better? It’s time for a candidate who knows how to lead. How to make decisions. A candidate who doesn’t care about party politics– just what’s best for everyone.

Our Commander-in-Chief

Vote Optimus Prime ‘08! He’s part of the political dream team. He meets all the requirements. Well, sort of. Article Two of the U.S. Constitution states that the prez must be:

  • a natural-born citizen of the United States

  • at least thirty-five years old
  • have been resident in the United States for at least fourteen years

However, at over nine million years old, Optimus predates the U.S. Constitution. And since Transformers made its U.S. debut in 1984, he definitely meets the residency requirements. So, while my candidate meets the technical requirements, it’s worth considering his professional qualifications.

The Issues

Optimus on liberty: “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.”
Optimus on accomplishing goals: “Autobots, transform and roll out!”
Optimus on poverty: “I am going to end your hunger once and for all.”
Optimus on humility: “Sometimes even the wisest of man or machine can make an error.”
Optimus on the environment: “We can’t stand by and watch the destruction of this beautiful planet. ”
Optimus on prudent military action: “This is a military mission, not a vendetta.”
Optimus on genocidal maniacs: “Megatron must be stopped, no matter the cost.”
Optimus on hastiness: “Just remember, there’s a thin line between being a hero and being a memory.”
Optimus on quitting: “Heroes never die. I, Optimus Prime, can never be conquered.”

Join the Campaign

It’s time we stopped messing around with candidates who are only concerned with the fate of their own party. Optimus, as you can see, has the red and the blue. He’s not concerned with race, gender, or religious creed. He doesn’t believe that people should be surrendered to the whims of the wicked as collateral damage. He believes in self-sacrifice, honor, and following through on promises.

This year, pick a candidate who matters. Vote Prime!